Monday musings

Yesterday at church we talked about character. We were discussing the Teachings of Lorenzo Snow chapter 8. There was one thought in the chapter that really stood out to me. It was that Christ desires a relationship with us, that he wants to see our success:

The Lord wishes to establish a closer and more intimate relationship between Himself and us; He wishes to elevate us in the scale of being and intelligence, and this can only be done through the medium of the everlasting Gospel which is specially prepared for this purpose.

It has taken me most of my life to understand this. To recognize that God and Universe really do want us to be happy. We are not here to suffer without relief. There should be joy, joy in our day to day lives. There are constant challenges and obstacles to our happiness, but when we do our best to find joy in our lives we usually can. Elder Eyring and others have encouraged us to make a gratitude journal and my wife is working on one now. I think it's high time I start that too.

Posted with Blogsy

Things do change

Ok, so both of you that have read my blog know that I have complained about the chubby guys that like to sprawl next to me on the bus. It's a challenge, and I face it with appropriate indignity.

But things change. Yesterday, I had to leave the office a little early. I jumped onto the train about an hour before I normally do so I could get downtown and catch the early bus home. I sat down up against a window. The next stop rolls up and lo and behold one of the cute coeds sits next to me. There were other options, and other places to sit, but nope, she sat down next to me. She sat there quietly, didn't say anything, and neither did I. Two stops later, she gets off, and what do you know, another cute girl sits down. This girl was younger and looked to be one of the high schoolers getting out of class for the day, anyway she sat next to me until my stop.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not interested in the Coed girls in any real sense. I am just a middle aged pudgy guy (who's working out and dropping pounds right now) who found it just the slight bit flattering that these two girls weren't so repulsed by my appearance and presence that they were willing to sit next to me.

Now, I am being kind of humorous, or trying to be, but really, this got me to thinking about how sometimes simple things can help us feel a little bit better. I had another experience years ago, when driving by a middle school in a bad mood, a student looked up at me from the street corner I was turning around and smiled. The whole atmosphere of my day changed, and really my whole climate. Ever since then, I try to smile more at people, I never know when I might be the one who makes somebody else's day.

Monday Musings: Cleave and Broken things

This morning on the bus I was listening to Elder Holland's talk titled Broken Things to Mend. A few weeks ago I decided it would be a useful thing to download all of the talks from a specific Apostle and listen to them chronologically from oldest to newest. I started with Elder Holland because I remembered that over the course of several conferences he had spoken about The Prophet Joseph Smith, the Godhead, and several other doctrines peculiar to Latter Day Saints. He had was directing his remarks toward other religions and Christian churches pointing out how we are different.

Broken Things to Mend was a wonderful talk and reminded me of the gratitude I should have for the gospel, the church, and my family. It also helped me understand the need I really have for the Savior's influence in my life.

Elder Holland mentioned how remembering what the Savior has done can help build and strengthen a marriage, which got me thinking about an odd word: cleave

It has two meanings. It can mean to cut apart or break up especially along natural lines of weakness. That is the way it is used when talking about how minerals break. But it also means to hold tight to with unwavering loyalty. It is in that sense that it is used when talking about cleaving unto our spouses. I find it ironic that the same word has such different meanings in different contexts, but I do love the word related to marriage.

Personal Space Etiquette

Ok, so another post from the bus. I have had a crazy week. Monday we got snow. Not lots of snow, especially by Utah standards. We got a couple of inches, but combine a couple of inches of snow with 100,000 commuters and it equals massive delays. 3 hours worth of delays. Monday I got on the bus at 6:00 a.m. and got off 40 miles down the road at 8:40 a.m. Average speed 15 mph.

Tuesday, A little more snow and more massive delays. I got on the bus at 6:00 a.m. and got off the bus at 9:35. Gack, why am I commuting again? It really is better most days and only takes about 15 minutes longer than the drive. There is also the added bonus of it being easier to nap on the bus.

But what really gets me is how people don't understand the rules on the bus. When riding the bus etiquette of personal space demands that when seats are empty close by you move. If I sit down next to someone, it is understood that at the first convenient opportunity I will vacate the seat next to them so they can have their personal space back. I as the vacatee don't mean anything offensive like, "ewww you stink and I can't stand to sit next to you" It's simply polite to vacate the other person's space. Also the person on the aisle is obviously the person expected to vacate. I can't as the window seat stand up and push through the person, because then I am saying "ewww you are icky and I must move to reclaim my personal space"

Guess what! Uh huh. A guy sat next to me today. It's always a guy, never the cute college coeds. Sat down next to me early on and by the second drop off stop there were vacant seats and he didn't follow the etiquette. He stayed right next to me all the way home. Now, I am no homophobe, but it's a little awkward when there are only four people on the bus and one of them is the stranger sitting next to you.

Let me know Was I wrong?

I really need to write about my bus experiences more often. Yesterday I had one that compelled me to write and to get some advice.

Some background first
Over the last few months I have noticed a gentleman that rides my bus with me. He has sat next to me maybe 5 to 10 times. Now, I have opinions about that but can't really begrudge him sitting next to me since I normally try to sit in the seats near the wheel chair spots so I get more leg room. Over the last couple of days he has sat next to me on the ride up to work. So, I do recognize this guy but I haven't ever really talked to him. Normally, I plug in my headphones and tune out the other folks on the bus because I really don't feel compelled to get to know them. Maybe I'm wrong.

What really makes me think I am wrong is this. Yesterday, this gentleman got on the bus, he hesitated a bit then sat down next to me. He asked me how I was doing, (fine) With no other pre-amble, explanation or reason:

Can I borrow your cell phone?
(insert awkward paus)
Ummm, I don't think so sir, sorry.

So the question? Was I wrong to refuse this guy. Obviously he thought there was a greater level of trust than I did. In that awkward pause above, about 14 things went through my head, not all of them fit to publish, but the main thoughts were. Isn't that presumptious. You are assuming I have a cell phone and that I am totally comfortable handing it off to you. I don't know you.

He seemed flustered that I said "No" but he eventually turned to the 20 year old college student in the seat across from us and asked her. "No" Well, "Sorry, I have limited minutes" Her response reassured me that maybe I wasn't alone in my phobia of phone sharing. But what do you think. Is phone sharing with strangers ok? And if it is should I expect an explanation of why they want my phone.

I think I would have been a whole lot more comfortable if this person had done just two things. Explained that he didn't have his own cell phone, and given me a reason for his call. I assumed it was to call for a ride at the bus stop, but I gotta say, it kinda freaked me out.

My wife's response to this brought up another dynamic. "I put my phone by my face, I am not letting someone I don't know pretty well share my phone."

From the bus: Unwritten rules of ridership!

I am going o start a new series. Blog posts about and from the bus.

I am a very happy Public Transportation Commuter. I honestly don't even know the price of gas because I can't remember the last time I had to fill up my truck. For the most part my commute is awesome! I can nap, read, work on my computer, play Bejeweled on my phone. These things are a a little be tougher when used to drive. People would honk, and scream. I didn't get it but anway on the bus it's easier. It takes a little longer, but it's also free. As a University Employee I get a bus pass (paid for by the parking permits on campus not your tax dollars)

My challenge today is this: Chubby people.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not critical. I am myself a chubby person. I like to eat and I don't like to exercise. This is a recipe for pudge. My problem is for several months I have been riding the bus and it does fill up occasionally. What I don't understand those is the apparent rule that Chubby men must sit together. There is one gentleman on my bus whom I am sure is probably a perfectly decent guy, but he seems to have a man crush on me. I will be sitting on a partly empty (meaning there are other double seats with no one in either seat) and this guy will plunk down and cozy up to me. He has tried to chat me up and despite me using the universal sign of disinterest, wearing my iPod headphones, (sometimes I don't even plug them into the iPod, I just wear them) this gentleman still persists in sitting next to me whenever the chance permits. Now, This wouldn't really be a problem if the bus seats were slightly larger or one of the two of us were slightly (read: in my case 40 lbs) smaller.

So, new rules for the bus! All persons must sit in an unocccupied set of seats until such time as no pair of seats remains unoccupied. Rule 2: All persons will be paired according to a volume system. Skinny people aren't allowed to sit next to each other but must be paired with a higher volume neighbor.

At least that's how it would be if I ran things.