More thoughts on Peter

Yesterday was Father's Day, which went largely unnoticed in the household, mostly because everyone in our particular household had gotten the week wrong and we celebrated last week.

But I did spend some more time this last week considering more about the life of Peter.  I was able to get the the temple one day this week, but because of poor timing, or excellent timing, I arrived just after a session had started and I had a 30 minute wait.  I decided that since I had speculated wildly about Peter's motivations last week, maybe I should re-read some parts. 

I re-read each of the accounts in the Gospels to see what was said.  Three of the Gospels seemed to have  the feel that Peter was sorrowful and regretted denying the Savior, but I didn't see in any of them an actual statement that Peter had done wrong.  Also, I got to thinking, he was the only disciple mentioned that actually didn't flee and abandon the Savior but actually followed along and stayed as close as he could.  This was another sign of his devotion, but also the trigger for his denial.  Had Peter chosen to flee away, no one would have been questioning and badgering him about being with Christ, but because he was there at the scene people asked him.  He must have felt fear for his safety and anxiety that he would not be able to fulfill his role as leader of the church if he was taken and slain too.  Also, Peter must have been expecting and hoping that Christ was going to once again escape the hands of his tormentors and they would all continue to preach together.  When Peter denied knowing the Savior for the third time and the cock crowed, at least part of what could have gone through Peter's mind was that the fulfillment of this statement of the Savior's meant that truly the Savior's statements about his own death were also about to come to pass.  Could some of Peter's sorrow and bitterness been caused by his own recognition that he was about to see the Christ, the Savior, the Messiah die?  Was part of his sorrow and bitterness prompted by fear that what he thought was true may not be?  I don't really know, but as I ponder the meaning of this night for Peter it is clear that the depth of emotion for Peter must have been extreme.  So much was being called into question and so much was being asked of him, and he did stay as close as he could and he was there when the Savior was on the cross and he was the first of the Apostles to enter the tomb.

Another incident that I mentioned last week comes back to mind.  When the Savior walked on the water and Peter stepped out of the boat into the storm tossed seas, he did walk.  Much good can be learned from understanding that only when Peter took his focus off of the Savior did he begin to sink and perish, but read closely and you see again the character of this man.  He was walking on the water amidst all the turmoil of the storm and could he have realized, "What am I doing?  I can't possibly do this!"  Peter's realization of quite literally the gravity of his situation must have overwhelmed him.  His sudden realization that he was quite literally doing the impossible could have been just too much for him.  But, and this is a key, in this moment when he realized that what the Savior had asked him to do was beyond his own capacity, and when he realized that he was already doing it, but couldn't continue, he didn't turn back to the boat, he didn't lose hope and sink under the waves.  He called out to the Savior.  Peter knew what and who was the source of his salvation.  We would do well to remember all of Peter's example on this night.  When the storms toss us and we are asked to do miracles, when the impossibility of doing what we must do is overwhelming us and we are perishing, we can call out "Lord, save me" and the response will probably be "O, thou of little faith" but the hands will reach out and lift us up.  The scriptures mention very little about what happened after Peter called out, but I imagine him being lifted up and walking alongside Jesus back to the boat, not in failure, but in triumph because Peter knew who he trusted.